The Weekender: Janet Jackson Tickets :: Chelsea Handler's One Expensive Chick :: Smerconish's Book Club :: And Some Insane Amount of Awesome Stuff to Do This RAIN FREE (!!!) weekend

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The Weekender: Nightlife and Events Picks From the Editors of Philly Mag

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18, 2011

Hello, Weekenders!

I've got some good news. No, not that Milton Street is not our mayor, although that's certainly good news. No, I'm talking about the end of this rain. I have seen the future, and it is sunny, warm, and bright. And fortunately for you, there are plenty of ways to enjoy it. I'd start by breaking out the Schwinn, ditching Septa, and participating in National Bike To Work Week. After that, just keep your Weekender handy. See you out there! — Victor Fiorillo, A&E Editor

That Starr Guy Is at It Again: Say what you will about the Starr man. It seems like every time I turn around, he's got a new place opening. And two of his newest are two of my favorites: Talula's Garden (perhaps my favorite place for cheese) and The Dandelion (mmm ... cask ale). I don't have a verdict on Frankford Hall, his new beer emporium, because it just opened last night. But Foobooz has the complete rundown, from ping pong to an exclusive Dogfish Head to the scoop on the schnitzel. See you there. Details

Let Your Voice Be Heard: Vote now for the worst bar (or restaurant) name ever
Five Beers for 10 Bucks?: Brauhaus Schmitz says, "Ja!"
Just What the Hell Is Foldable Gin?: Find out all about it here
Get on the Bus: Jet Wine Bar's wine-tasting bus trip to Pennsylvania's vineyards
Make Your Reservations Now: Because Philly Beer Week is almost here!

Arrrrrrrgh: Since Thor is abysmally stupid, I will tell you that if you want to see a "big" movie this weekend (after all, you don't need to see Bridesmaids on a big screen), your main option is going to be the latest Johnny Depp as swashbuckler installment: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It's produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, directed by Rob Marshall and is, of course, available in digital 3-D. Details

Oscar Nominated: Incendies, finalist for Best Foreign Language Film
Never Too Late: An 80-year-old in first grade
Free Mumia Now! (Not): Tigre Hill takes aim in Bryn Mawr
Beyond Barbarella: Register now for an exploration of "Jane Fonda and Womanhood"
Enjoy the Silence: Charlie Chaplin in The Circus

Let the Good Times Roll: It was a hard choice this week but The Cars have made some great music, they rarely tour, and this is one "reunion" that features all (surviving) original members. Ric Ocasek and friends come to the Electric Factory on Sunday, though you'll have to decide if $60 a ticket is a bit too steep. Details

Check StubHub Because ... : James Taylor at the Borgata is utterly sold out
Surprised This One Isn't Sold Out: Elvis Costello's Revolver Tour
If You Want to Hang With Preston, Steve, and Pierre: MMR*B*Q 2011 with Three Doors Down
Two Surreal Options: Anna Calvi at JB's or Damon & Naomi in a church

In Case You're Still Not Over the Book Club Thing: If you enjoy reading and you also enjoy listening to Michael Smerconish mouth off on the radio, you should know that he's got his own book club, aptly titled The Michael Smerconish Book Club. On Monday, he's at the Bryn Mawr Film Institute with Del Quentin Wilber, author of Rawhide Down: The Near Assassination of Ronald Reagan. It's $20. Details

Totally Last Minute: Philly Magger Steve Volk at the Pen & Pencil
Yoga Gal: Ana Forrest's Fierce Medicine
A Pulitzer Winner: The Library welcomes Geraldine Brooks
From Morning Joe: Mika Brzezinski on Knowing Your Value: Women, Money and Getting What You're Worth

Fore The Planet: Get it? Fore. Like golf. It's a new play-exhibit at the Academy of Natural Science that marries the always kid-pleasing game of miniature golf with important lessons about the environment and world. They'll learn about pollution, endangered species, animal migration, and dinosaurs, all under the guise of whacking a ball into a hole. Opens Saturday and runs through September 25. Included in museum admission. Details

Hopefully They Have Those Meatballs: It's Family Viking Day at the Swedish Museum
For Tots Who Like Tunes: Septet Cat's Pajamas and their puppets
For Crafty Kids: Get them to the Philadelphia Art Alliance for Sunday's Craft Experience

Chelsea Handler: Apparently lots of people watch the amusing blond's show on E!, because she keeps coming back to the Tower Theater, and selling it out again and again. This Friday's show there is no different, with absolutely zero tickets available through the normal channels. But StubHub has a handful of seats for around $175 each. You can find them a bit cheaper on the less reliable Craigslist.

AKA The Weasel: D-Lister Pauly Shore graces Chinatown
Known as "New Jersey's Bad Boy": Mike Marino in the Borgata's Comedy Club
Why Pay For It?: Free comedy weekly at the Raven

The Philadelphia Orchestra: Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 is, quite simply, one of the best pieces of music ever composed. It was also the last symphony that he completed, having finished it in 1824, three years before his death. You have four chances to see and hear our little orchestra take it on, along with Stravinsky's "Symphony of Psalms." There are performances Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday, all at the Kimmel. Tuesday is sold out, but tickets ($71 to $106) are available on a limited basis for the other three. Details

A Benefit for Japan: The 6th Borough (that's Philly, in case you don't remember) String Quartet
They Look So Cute Holding Those Instruments: The Philadelphia Young Artists Orchestra tackles Rossini and Prokofiev
The Chamber Is Loaded: Violinist Thomas Zehetmair plays classical music on violin

RitRo Spring Fest: I like rain. I like that it makes the flowers grow. I like that it washes the sludge down into the gutters. And I like the smell of ozone in the air. BUT ENOUGH ALREADY. Fortunately, this Saturday, it's going to be warm and sunny, so get to Rittenhouse Square for their annual Spring Festival. In addition to all the normal spring festival type of activities, look for Stephen Starr's takeover of the 1800 block of Sansom. Bring canned goods for Philabundance and get raffle tickets for one of the best prizes ever: dinner for two at every Starr restaurant in Philly. Sweet! Details

Because You Need Cool Stuff: From artwork to instruments to clothes to total junk, get it all at R5 Productions' Punk Rock Flea Market
Because Doing It Outside Is Fun: Do Yoga on the Parkway
Finally, a Reason to Go to Kensington: The Trenton Avenue Arts Festival and Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby

That's Miss Jackson to You: Dancing pop diva and sister-of-Michael Janet Jackson is bringing her Number Ones tour to the Tower Theater on August 8th. She has had 35 number one hits (which seems a little hard to believe) and she'll be playing them at 35 cities across the U.S. Given the small venue and the star power, it's going to be one of the hottest tickets of the summer. And since the show is on a Monday, you don't have to change your Shore plans. Tickets are $70-$150 and go on sale this Friday at 10 a.m. Details

Geek Alert!: They Might Be Giants but they're definitely playing the TLA
A One-Woman Orchestra: Zoe Keating at World Cafe Live
Local Talent: Hall & Oates' Daryl meets Upper Darby native Todd Rundgren

For Dads That Like To Get High
Father's Day is right around the corner. By now, dear old dad has plenty of socks, ties, cologne, monogrammed grill brushes, and dad mugs. If you want to really wow him, I'd consider getting him some anti-anxiety medication and a look at Philly from above with Independence Helicopter Aerial Tours. He will soar around the skies, checking out the bridges, the stadiums, and Boathouse Row. Prices start at $129 per person. But ... I, of course, have a free trip for dad and two other people of his choosing.

Consider the following: I am thinking of a whole number that is greater than 9,999 and less than 100,000. There are no zeros in it. It reads the same forward as it does backward. The funny thing about this number is that not only is it a perfect square, but so is each digit. What's the number? Email the answer to theweekenderpuzzle@gmail.com by Monday at noon. I will pick one winner from the correct responses, and that person will win a 20-minute tour for 3, leaving from Northeast Philadelphia Airport. The schedule is flexible. Please note: I will only consider entries that have the correct answer in the subject line and a daytime phone number in the body.

Ticket Giveaway: Willie Nelson at the Mann
It's hard to believe this, but Willie Nelson has played or sang on something like 200 albums, and he's been doing it for something like 60 years. He's bringing his Country Throwdown Tour to the Mann Music Center on May 27th and he's toting along a host of country and singer-songwriter talent for the all ages, all-day festival show. Tickets are normally $25 to $95, but the folks at the Mann have some to give away. Just click here and send them your name. Make sure the subject line is THE WEEKENDER SENT ME.

Whether it’s a quiet weekend getaway or a romantic dinner for two, Bucks County is the perfect place for an intimate escape with a loved one.